Dave: You read the family circle? Family Circus or Family Circle?
Sandy: Circus.
Dave: Circus… circus. He uses the Roman, the Latin, right? For circle? Bil Keane.
Sandy: Family Circus…
Dave: You know, he speaks latin.
Sandy: Oh, does he?
Dave: Yeah. Have you seen the early versions of Family Circus? They’re in latin.
Sandy: They’re all in latin.
Dave: Et, tu…
Dave and Sandy: Billy?

Dave: That’s much more respectable than what any of us do.
Caller: I… beg to differ.
Dave: Me, too. Flattery will get you nowhere. Wait, is it ‘flattery gets you everywhere, or flattery gets you nowhere?’
Sandy: Ah, you can say either.
Dave: Depends on —
Guest: Depends on who’s listening.
Caller: Depends on if you have a huge dick or not.
Sandy: Right.
Caller: Can I say that on the air?
Dave and Guest: Yeah.
Sandy: Yeah.
Dave: Yeah.
Sandy: Go ahead. Dick it up.
Dave: Yeah, man. Get you dick on. Get your dick on on WFMU. Are we a disgrace to this station, or a badge of honor?

Sandy: I love Ashley. I have a crush on Ashley.
Dave: Oh! Jeez! That’s your first on air crush! I can’t believe you just said that!
Sandy: She has a boyfriend, though, and I’m married.
Dave: But you have a warm pee-she waiting for you at home!

[More A-Team] [More Counting] [Even More A-Team]

Dave: What’s the topic?
Sandy: Should we get back on topic?
Dave: Nah. This is nice. Let’s the listeners enjoy - let’s let whatever that jerk’s name was… enjoy yourself. This may be the last minute of your life.
Sandy: Revel in it, jerk!
Dave: Swim in it!
Sandy: I hope you choke on it!

[After Responding to a caller complaining about the show not playing music, Sandy starts some bed music]
Sandy: Hey, I have a question. If we’re playing something and talking over it, it’s no problem on the podcast, right? ‘Cause we’re not giving the song away for free…
Dave: Yeah.
Sandy: Yeah. It’s not the original. We’re not giving the song out.
Dave: Right. I think that’s fine.
Sandy: It is, right?
Dave: I say. I dare say… Maybe I shouldn’t announce what it is.
Sandy, No, you should!
Dave: You’re all now listening to the sweet sounds… of my voice. I want you all to kick back, and relax. Go to sleep. Do you have tums in your medicine cabinet? Well that’s nice. This is fun. Maybe a little delay?
Sandy: Sleep!
Dave: Do you have tums? Do you have a tummy ache? Go to your medicine cabinet, get out the tums. This segment brought to you by tums. Now, with Vitamin Q. Get up. Get up. Wake up! Your halitosis is waking me. It’s making me smell like maligma.
Sandy: Maligma?
Dave: Teriyaki Turkey. Flying through a vast forest of pleas. Where will it take us when the dawn erupts, when the decisive moment fluctuates? Melichaliki Maka is the Hawaiian way to have a hoppy, hoppy holiday. When I was young, when I am, when I will be, when I will be young, hah! Strike the forest alive! Taking technical terms. As I was getting tums, I woke up in the middle of the tummy watching gummy bears, the cartoons, floors and flowers. Up, I am a rolling river down ascent a color giver!